Listening to: ‘Good Riddance’ by Green Day
Who ever said relationships are easy? Well, if you ever heard this from someone, that someone is lying to you. There will always be ups and downs, it only depends on how both parties want to handle it.
These past few years have opened my eyes to a lot different people. People that behaves a certain way with their friends and another with their partners, it almost a two-faced gig. But there’s always a reason behind an action, always. It may not be able to be explained, maybe… But there will always be a reason.
Stop blaming everyone for an unhappy relationship, it’s not about who is saying what or who is doing what but about how you chose to stay. It’s not about his actions or yours, that arguments kept arising and it’s almost a non-stop cycle between the two. But think about it, why stay? Yes, you’ll say that you love him/her and that you can’t live without him/her. But I see that as just being in denial, not wanting to be alone and single. If he/she is cheating on you, leave. If he/she is a jerk about a lot of things, leave. If he/she is not making an effort, leave. If he/she is lying to you, leave. Walk away.
If he/she ever loved you, it won’t happen in the first place. If he/she ever loved you, he/she would not have lied, cheated, be a jerk about a lot of things and not make an effort. He/she might not be a bad person, but he/she MAY be bad for you. You might just not be the one that’s worth the effort. Think about it, you’re in your teenage years or even your early twenties… Do you see yourself getting married in the next year? No.
I’m not saying break up with everyone without fighting to survive, but to know when to stop fighting and let go. Because you’re both unhappy. And if you’re constantly unhappy now, who is going to say that you’ll be happy in the future? If he/she is cheating now, who is going to say that they won’t be cheating again?
Self-worth.
I’ve given guys second chances and it never works out. There’s always a reason why you guys broke up in the first place and giving a second go at it will only lead to high possibility of another heart break. Sometimes, we give people we love a second chance because we feel like there’s ‘unfinished business’ or just curiosity. Second chances may work for some people but not all. Give yourself a chance to know someone that is actually worth your affection and time. Instead of wasting your nights away waiting for a call or a ‘I love you’.
Distance does strain a relationship, no matter how much love there is in between two people. Effort and trust is almost mandatory to keep it alive but if there is none… Lies, doubts and insecurities start to arise. Lost of trust will eventually happen and it’ll only end badly. I just feel like if two people really do love each other, they would make some effort to spare some time to communicate with their other half. Not knowing how to express love is not an excuse for not making an effort. I know you ache for his attention and his love, who doesn’t? But why put yourself through all the sufferings?
Like said, know your self-worth.
I’ve recently had my heart broken into pieces and stomped to break it into MORE pieces.
But I’m trying. I’m really trying to look at myself. I may not have been worth much, not to him. But I will be, one day, worthy to someone else. And most importantly, worthy on my own terms and to myself. I’ve stopped trying to figure out what went wrong and what did I do wrong because honestly, I’ve stopped caring about it. Yes, I do drown myself in sorrow once in a while. But that’s just for me to release it all out until there’s none for me anymore.
Looking back at old posts as well as old comments were quite encouraging as random people that I don’t know of would write comments like these:-
oct 31 2009
“Sabrina honey, be true to yourself and act within the bounds of your integrity. It will pay to be balanced and measured.”
“Sabrina sweetheart, you will be in an enjoyable mood. Close friend’s company will be entertaining to you all the time.”
And the other day, I was chatting with a friend and he was telling me about how before we can be wise&old, we have to be young&foolish. So make mistakes, but learn from it. In order to get what’s best, one has to go through the worst to know how to appreciate in the future. Be happy that you’ve had that experience with you, to actually know what you want in life. There’s many more people out there, waiting to meet you. Waiting to meet an extraordinary person like you. Stop wasting your time, there are people that loves you and there are people that will love you.
♦♦
I did say I needed time and space. So please respect me enough to give me that.
♦♦
Maybe someday you’ll regret it, maybe someday you’ll think it was the best decision you ever made, but maybe someday you’ll see me walking, smiling and happy, alongside someone who’s also smiling and happy because he has my heart. Maybe then you’ll stop and realize what you’re missing, because someday, someone is going to thank you for letting me go…
♦♦
Suvarnabhumi Airport
Serenity.
